Kids are selfish, adults are as well. We all have that natural instinct to only think of ourselves. It’s sin, we are drawn to it. It looks good, it feels good. It only takes a little bit to make us fall into a trap of constantness. Usually when I want to teach a lesson to my girls it’s something that I’ve gone through already, something that I’ve done myself or experienced myself. I want my girls to understand that our character is important, that who they are when no one is looking or when they think no one is looking, is important. Our character should reflect Christ at ALL times. Not sometimes, but all the time.
I was recently talking to my youngest daughter about when I was younger. In order for me to have friends, I had to follow what the other kids were doing. We’ve had this conversation before but, it came back up and I don’t like to shy away from continuously planting the same seeds. I mentioned a story about how I was playing with a friend who didn’t have friends around, she kicked me to curb to play with more “popular” or “funner” kids. She left, I followed. As a child I always knew when and where I shouldn’t be. It’s like the Lord was speaking to me throughout my life, but I refused to listen. I always had a gut feeling, later I knew it was the Holy Spirit. The kids she wanted to play with were not Godly character kids. They did the wrong things, said the wrong things. But, I followed.
There were several lessons I gave to my daughters from this one incident. One, think of others first and don’t be quick to leave a friend behind just because they may not be doing the “cool” things. 1 Corinthians 5 tell us, “No one should seek their own good, but the good of others” When we think of being selfish, we tend to only think of not giving. Selfishness comes in many forms. I explained to my daughter that, that “friend” of mine was only looking to see what was good for her. Not thinking of me or my feelings in leaving me alone. Please teach your children not to be this way. Selfish children, grow up to be selfish adults and by this time, it’s hard to nip it in the bud. Another lesson is knowing who you are in Christ. I should have been okay with her leaving. Knowing that it was messed up, but I shouldn’t have wanted so bad to follow, especially when she didn’t want me to. It’s little lessons like this that we have to instill. Parents don’t look over the personality traits of your daughters while they play and interact with other kids. Be sure you are aware of how other kids treat them, how your daughter responds in situations also and how she treats them as well.
Don’t think it’s being a hover parent. We teach, loosen the reigns, but also shadow to make sure that what you’re instilling is being instilled into them. Another obvious lesson was going along with the crowd. 1 Corinthians 15:33 says, “Do not be misled; Bad company corrupts good character.” And isn’t that what it’s all about, our character? What choices are we making, what things are we saying, who are we following. I give glory to God for delivering me from not knowing who I was in Him. It’s freeing when you finally see who you truly are in Christ. As parents to girls we have to look for the small sins, the selfish motives, the attitudes, the things that we overlook in our daughters character because it’s nothing big like drugs, sex or lies. All sin is the same no matter how big or small, we just have to be diligent in recognizing those sins that may be overlooked and correct them. Use everyday examples, life examples to show your children Godly characteristics. The bible gives us so many instructions on our character and how we treat others.
1 Timothy 4:12 “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.”
When my girls were younger in their homeschool years, we studied a Godly character trait each week. We learned about it and applied to our day. To this day, we recognize when we are not fulfilling those attributes in our lives. Don’t let moments go by without planting seeds of Godly character moms. Ask God to help you be consistent in delivering what he wants to be said to your girls so they grow to be girls that reflect the image of Christ in every area of life. Don’t let their small sins, determine their big character.
For His Glory,