Parents, do the hard things, otherwise the world will do it for you. I’ve always told myself that. I didn’t want the world to give my daughters a view of anything because everything belongs to Christ. With a Christ-focus on the things that go on in our lives, be it sex, relationships, jobs, etc, we can do those things in his strength and understand them better. So, here I was. Faced with having to talk to my daughter about the one thing I thought could wait for a couple more years. As I started, I prayed along the way in my mind. I first let her know that I loved her and that she was not in any trouble. I informed her that I saw what she searched for on the computer about sex. Her face sunk. One thing about my oldest daughter is that you know when she is “in her feelings”, she wears them on her sleeve. She can’t keep them hidden. She’s an honest person because of this. She didn’t deny. Her response was, I heard it at church and from her cousin, so she wanted to know what it was.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that you abstain from sexual immorality, that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust…
Remember the story of the boy asking me if I was a virgin. Her not knowing and finding out from someone else placed her in a position to seek answers. Why didn’t she come to me was my question. For a while I struggled with wondering that and even asked her. She said she didn’t want to get into trouble because she knew it was bad. Bad? This is where it starts, I loved on her while gently telling her about God’s design for sex, how He created it and how the world has made it perverse and sinful. I hesitated to tell her about the act, but it was in this moment that I realized that in order for her to get a clear picture of what and why God created it, and why the designation between a husband and wife was so important, I was going to have to go all in. I stress again moms, dads, we have to do the hard things. When I googled ‘what is sex’ in the search engine at that time a plethora of images, words, unholiness popped up! No article on anything to do with the word of God. On the inside I was freaking out, and it’s okay to. Just don’t lose your cool in front of your kld about it. Keep it in, breath and continue the talk. I gave scriptures on God’s design for sex within marriage, we read a couple articles on Focus On The Family that continues to help me in raising my girls and being a better wife. This talk lasted for several hours and it continues now.
Genesis 2:24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
Talking about sex shouldn’t end at one conversation and that’s it. It should continue as your girls get older. As their body changes, as they become interested in boys or in their appearance more. It should continue to give a Godly view of what it should be and the beauty of it. It should continue to often. Those late night sessions of an impromptu conversation, those one on one mom and daughter dates. Let it continue mamas. Although my blog is tailored to moms and daughters, I know fathers will get involved and should be involved as well. Especially if you’re a single father, God has placed you as the covering over your little girls. Teach them diligently to seek Christ. Don’t be afraid to talk about all things, so they aren’t afraid to come to you and be honest. Be gentle in your words, be understanding of what they want to know, be honest, open, transparent. The world will be open and transparent, but not honest. When we leave our precious lambs to world, the wolves will attack. They grow up with a lack of understanding, they get into relationships too soon, go into life thinking that sex before marriage is the way. Then, this passes along to the next generation. Don’t allow your family legacy to end this way, live a Faith-filled, Kingdom driven, God-focused family legacy for generations to come. Do the hard things, talk about sex.
Giving a child facts about reproduction, including details about intercourse, does not rob her of innocence. Innocence is a function of attitude, not information. Focus on the Family
For His Glory,