The title alone reminds me of an old song I choose not to get stuck in my head, but somehow it was the first thing that came to mind before I started to write the post. Let’s focus now. My oldest daughter was unfortunately 10 years old when we had “the talk.” I say unfortunately because I don’t believe you should have to have that talk with a ten year old from a reason of them finding out about it the wrong way. At maturity, yes, whether it is 10 or 13, you should have it from a biblical view. But, like I said, unfortunately she did not get a biblical view of it.
I can honestly say that there were somethings I was naive to believing my kids would hear or see because they’ve been homeschooled. Not that my goal was to keep them from it, I knew they would hear or see something, I just didn’t think it would be that soon. Again, it shouldn’t be that soon, but I have to remind myself everyday that we live in a fallen world. Anything can happen. After running into a mom friend of my daughters in Walmart, to buy one thing but ending up with all the things, we started to talk about her daughter who had been exposed to porn by a cousin. In that moment, while she was talking, I stopped listening and clearly heard the Holy Spirit speaking to me saying, check the computer when you get home. I didn’t plan on leaving at that moment but because it was so strong in me to get home, I quickly ended the conversation and went home.
You know what happened next right? Yep, to my surprise and not surprise, my sweet, beautiful, innocent 10 year old had typed into the google search “what is sex.” My heart still drops when I think of that moment and she is a few weeks shy of 15. See, these are our babies, our precious gifts from the Lord and we want to think of them in the best light. Matthew 10:16 reads, “Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves…” “Well thanks for letting me know, Lord!” That was my first thought after reading that verse. I sent my little sheep off in the midst of wolves.
As I collected my thoughts, myself, my tears, I stopped to pray. All I remember saying was, “Lord, help me to say the right words.” I took some time to read some scriptures and also some blogs on talking to your kids about sex from a biblical perspective. My instinct was to do this because all of my life I knew I didn’t want to explain or talk about sex like I received from my parents. Don’t get me wrong, my parents are great, they did the best they knew, but I’m sure a lot of moms and dads maybe can feel me on hearing their parents say things like, “You better not be having sex!” or “Don’t go and get pregnant!”and more of the blurted out things that warped the minds of teens without explanation. Or then hearing from the wrong sources, aka friends, that tell you about all their sexual encounters and how it feels, and that’s when a guy loves you, and what you’re supposed to do and boys teasing you for not knowing what a virgin is. Yea, that happened to me. I ignored them for a while as they teased me, then after they kept going on and on about it, I said with an attitude of contentment, “No I’m not!” Afterwards, I wondered why so many boys in my class wanted to talk to me when I was ignored the entire year. It’s funny, yes, but do you see how not talking to your kids about sex can affect their view of it. That was in the 6th grade, on a school bus headed home. So, I didn’t get a sex talk, an explanation, a biblical view. Only what my parents knew from it in their past and how they saw it could ruin this young girls life.
Hosea 4:6 “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge…”